Sitting among your congregation will be men and women who:

never had children

can’t have children and ache because of it

lost a child to death

hope to yet have children

Sitting among your congregation will be people, young and old, who grieve or struggle because they:

lost their mother or father to death, some even recently

never knew their mother or father

were abused or neglected by a mother or father

are estranged from a mother or father

I know of many people who stay home on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day because of the way the church handles this holiday.  It’s too painful.  It isn’t relevant.  — How sad that they don’t feel like they’ll get anything out of gathering with the Body that day.  How sad that they don’t trust us to be sensitive enough to their situations.  How sad that they don’t seek comfort on this hurtful day among the Body of Christ but rather feel the need to retreat.

Let’s be sensitive on Mother’s and Father’s day by thinking through:

1. how much emphasis is placed on it
2. how things are worded
3. how you single out people … careful not to make one look superior to the other
4. how gifts are distributed
5. how obvious you make it that some in your midst are not mothers or fathers

We need to be careful at the same time that we are not being fake in our representation or obvious in our inclusion of people in these different situations. 

The way to avoid that is to have a year-round environment … 

where people in all statuses and situations of life feel accepted and like they belong. 

where individuals’ life stages are acknowledged and needs are met but yet they are not segregated from the whole. 

It’s called body life … unity  … true fellowship … where we can meet with all of our differences and be better because of it.  

In this kind of environment you will have more of a tendency to simply be sensitive and not have to guard yourself on holidays like Mother’s and Father’s Day.  You will come across genuine because you are.  If this kind of environment isn’t built throughout the year, special emphasis on certain segments can make others feel like they aren’t important or that their pain will be ignored.

A Father’s Day bulletin and bookmark with the same message quotes Oswald Chambers:

“The destiny of every human being depends on his relationship to Jesus Christ. It is not on his relationship to life, or to his service or his usefulness, but simply and solely on his relationship to Jesus Christ.”

So often men tend to find their worth in achievements and how well they fulfill their roles or positions in life  … like fatherhood.  This quote emphasizes that what matters most is that you know Christ.  That leads me to the next message I came across on another bulletin and bookmark which only makes sense if the father has that relationship with Jesus. 

“The greatest gift a father can give his children is to walk in the footsteps of God.”

The father’s example will leave a much greater impact on his children than words alone could ever do.  A Pass It On Card provides an acronym for what it will take: 

D.A.D. – Dedicated And Devoted

When fathers are first and foremost dedicated and devoted to the Lord Jesus Christ they will be to their children what they should be.  What greater gift could a father give?

God places responsibility on both children and parents:

• Children – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother” (Eph. 6:1-3).
• Parents – “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).  Deuteronomy 6:4-9 provides a good pattern for the consistency with which a parent is to nurture children in the ways of the Lord.  Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp looks at parenting as more of a discipleship process than merely a caretaking role. (The book link will take you to our affiliate bookstore.)

The church should not be usurping the responsibility of parents for instructing their children in the ways of the Lord.  Rather, the church should be holding them accountable and training them to do their God-given part.

What are we doing in the church to encourage healthy parent-child relationships?

There are many good resources for family life.  

What are some you have found to be effective?