Comments on: Let’s Be Sensitive on Mother’s and Father’s Day

By: MinTools

MinTools — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:36:46 +0000

To be honest, I had to chuckle a bit at your comment, Zoe. There are many “Bills” out there. Stereotypically, his comment is reflective of how men often tend to deal with issues. But, let me also say that I do know some women who respond in this way as well. The problem with this approach is that many times emotions are simply stuffed and not dealt with only to come out in other ways. So, whether it be in our own lives or in “listening” to others, the objective should be to process how we feel and not repress it. Speaking of the need to trust God … it takes a lot of trusting to be real and work through issues, grabbing hold of His grace and truth.

I must also say that after my initial chuckle, I also was struck by what you are really expressing … that you know by experience the difficulty of these kinds of holidays. You need not say anything more but know that I for one will stop and pray for you, going to the throne of grace on your behalf to the One who fully knows what was left unsaid.

By: Zoe

Zoe — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:10:21 +0000

Is “Bill” my father? (and is there an emoticon for a wry grimace?)

I’d like to direct Bill to
http://mintools.com/listening-skills.htm

Thank you, Ms. Kline. This topic is too painful an area for me to say anything more.

By: MinTools

MinTools — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:09:43 +0000

Thank you for sharing your observation as one who comes alongside of people for whom Mother’s or Father’s Day can be especially difficult.

By: Deb

Deb — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 15:55:24 +0000

There needs to be a level of sensitivity on everyone’s part. As a counselor who has worked with bereaved parents and clients who have been further wounded by statements like Bill’s, I concur with the emphasis on looking out for one another in a Biblical sense. If we are the Body of Christ, we are responsible to one another to be caring and considerate regardless of the specific emphasis. Let’s not let the culture dictate how we care for one another.

By: MinTools

MinTools — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 15:42:19 +0000

This post is not suggesting that you “hold back” on celebrating mothers or fathers but that you think through HOW you do it to be as sensitive to all as you can. I think of verses like 1 Corinthians 12:25-27 –

… should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

To be sure, body life, according to these verses, goes both ways. People in a position to celebrate this kind of holiday should be sensitive to those who “suffer” because of it. And, people who struggle with it should be sensitive to those who “rejoice,” not begrudging or robbing them of this celebration.

The reality, however, is that not everybody is in that place. — Sometimes it is timing … the loss is still so fresh. Sometimes it is depth of pain … some things are harder to take than others. Sometimes it is a trust issue … the very ones who were to protect didn’t which can affect people’s ability to trust God. Sometimes it is a matter of perception … what is very important to one person may not be to others. Life is a process and we are all at different places.

Church leaders must acknowledge that reality and exercise sensitivity so as to promote and be an example of body life. Everybody matters.

By: Bill

Bill — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 15:30:48 +0000

Sometimes I think these people just need to get over it, trust the Lord, and move on. Why should others hold back their celebration because some can’t cope.