God’s Word tells us to “live in harmony with one another” (1 Pet. 3:8). With so much conflict around us, is harmony possible in the Church? We’re all so different with varying views and opinions. Can we really come together as a unified whole?
Living in Harmony Isn’t an Option
Living harmoniously isn’t an option for us as believers. God commands us to live in harmony with one another (Rom. 12:16-21; 1 Pet. 3:8-9). The beginning of 1 Peter 3:8 provides two important points: “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another …”
- “All” means each and every one of us so none of us are the exception.
- The use of the term “one another”, allelon in the original language, suggests a mutual, reciprocal response of members toward each other. That means, even in conflict, both the offended party as well as the offender work toward reconciliation (Matt. 5:23-24).
Since this is a command for each one of us, let’s look more closely at what it means to live in harmony.
Being Harmonious Doesn’t Mean a Lack of Differences
Liken living harmoniously to an orchestra. Different instruments with different shapes and sounds come together to make a fuller and harmonious sound. The instruments do not all become the same. They bring their differences together.
In the Church, members likewise have varying parts. We’re different from each other, not only in gifting but also in the ways we think and express ourselves. When we bring our differences together, we can produce something stronger, even better.
Problems come when even just one instrument is out of tune, makes a mistake, or decides to do their own thing instead of coordinating with the whole. We then experience a break in harmony. Sinful actions and reactions are always wrong. Some conflict, however, isn’t the result of sin but rather differences.
We’re all human. It only takes one person in a relationship to act contrary to the Spirit, in one’s old nature, offending another person, and there will be conflict. Or, it might be a misinterpretation of what someone has done or said. Either way, perceived or real, we have conflict.
We are all individuals, with varying personalities, philosophies, and perspectives. Whenever two different ideas or ways of doing things collide, conflict ensues.
How We Handle Our Differences Determines if We Experience Harmony Amid Conflict
We must pay attention to the warning signs of conflict turning bad. If we don’t, we open the door for the devil to wreak havoc among us.
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Eph. 4:26-27)
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (James 3:14-16)
We must make harmony our ultimate objective when we find ourselves in any kind of conflict.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Rom. 12:18)
When it comes to conflict management, “true reconciliation — the healing of the relationship — is the primary objective, not resolving the issues” (quote from an article on the TrainChurchLeaders.com site). We can be harmonious without agreeing on an issue. We don’t have to like what a person says or does to live in harmony with them.
But, you might ask …