Mentoring of Younger Mothers

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Mentoring Younger Mothers
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In a previous post we looked at the qualifications in Titus 2 for older women mentoring younger women. Now we turn our attention to the young women and areas for which such a mentoring relationship would be beneficial.

Then they (older women) can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (Titus 2:4-5)

Mentoring opportunities can benefit all younger women whether married or single, with or without children, to help them learn to be godly. However, since Titus 2 specifically refers to young married women with children, this post will focus on mentoring that can be especially helpful for them.

Training women to be good wives as well as good mothers is so important. Children learn respect in the home. Much of it comes through observing the way parents treat one another. Mentoring younger mothers is critical because how a child is reared can affect future generations.

Following are areas or seasons of life for which a mother would especially benefit from mentoring by an older woman.

Maternity

Love for a child begins to develop during pregnancy and continues on through the good and bad times. How do they prepare for the changes a new child brings to the home, their marriage relationship and life in general so they don’t feel resentment or regret?

Obligations

Titus 2 says they should be taught to be “busy at home.” How do they manage work and family life to keep it in balance?

Toddlers & Teens

Loving children at all times seems like a given but there are certain stages children go through that can be particularly trying during which a mentor would be particularly helpful. How do they show love when the child is not acting very lovable?

Husband

Children learn respect in the home, much of which comes through observing how their parents treat one another. How do they demonstrate love and submission toward their husbands, keeping this relationship a priority, when it seems so hard to balance life?

Emotions

Titus 2 goes beyond the “how-to” of being a good wife and mother to inner qualities such as self-control and kindness. How do they learn to react to the stresses of life in emotionally healthy ways?

Relationships

Titus 2 also says older women should teach younger women to be pure. Obviously self-control and purity go together. If a younger woman hasn’t learned self-control, it will be harder to maintain purity in relationships. How do they get to a point where they can turn from temptations, especially when life seems like it would be better otherwise or when they feel like they need an escape from their current realities?

Effectively mentoring young mothers in the above areas will result in:

  • Women who become godly, exhibiting the characteristics of the woman in Proverbs 31 of whom it is written that “Her children arise and call her blessed” (Ps. 31:28)
  • Women who not only rear children who honor her but also who become lights in the world around them because of the way they live and consequently do not “malign the word of God” (Titus 2:5)

Read More:  Mentoring as a Shepherding Ministry

Also Check Out: Women’s Ministry Resources

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Mentoring by Older Women

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Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women . . . (Titus 2:3-4a)

We hear the Apostle Paul’s exhortation for older women to mentor younger women. They have an experience base from which to pull much wisdom of how they learned to cope with the responsibilities of life. They can teach younger women what they gleaned from both their successes and failings.

Older Women Mentoring Younger Women

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But, older women mentoring younger women isn’t just about passing on “how to” be a good wife or mother. They are to also teach them qualities essential to being godly women. That is why Paul puts qualifications on the mentors. The church also has a responsibility to “teach the older women” to be a certain way so they can “teach what is good.” Notice that it is “then” that “they can train the younger women.”

To mentor younger women to “be” who they should be and not merely “do” what they should do takes more than words. It takes a role model, someone who lives what they say, to “train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands” (Titus 2:4-5).

  • If young women are to learn to be godly from their mentor, then they need mentors who are “reverent” … consecrated to the Lord.
  • If young women are to learn to be submissive from their mentor, then they need to see that reverence in their mentors spill over into “the way they live” in relationship with others. Submission grows out of respect.
  • If young women are to learn to be kind and pure from their mentor, then they need a mentor who does not “slander” or demean others through gossip or other negative words.
  • If young women are to learn to be self-controlled from their mentor, then they need a mentor who is not “addicted to much wine” or any other vice or bondage.

Do you have, or want to begin, a mentoring program at your church for women? Following are three questions for you to think through to line up what you do with Titus 2.

1) What criteria should be in a mentor?

Remember, more goes into mentoring than passing on life experiences so don’t make it about merely pairing up women based on who has been through similar life experiences. The mentor, according to Titus 2, should display certain qualities. Think through how you will know when an older woman is ready to be a mentor.

2) How will you recruit mentors?

Not all older women are qualified to join in such an endeavor. Think through how you present this opportunity to the older women of your church so you are not in an awkward position of turning some women away.

3) What training should be required of mentors?

Some older women are already godly or “reverent in the way they live” so they might not need as much teaching but should still go through training to remind them of what mentoring is all about. Think through what should be included in that basic plan.

Older women who do not meet the criteria of Titus 2 probably will not drastically change as the result of a few training sessions. Bondages are usually not easily or quickly broken. Think through how you can extend prolonged teaching, perhaps counseling or they themselves being mentored, to help them become more godly.

Read More:  Mentoring as a Shepherding Ministry

Also Check Out: Women’s Ministry Resources

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