How to Shepherd a Support Group

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Training Category: Shepherding Ministry

Christian support groups can go well beyond helping people overcome addictions, cope with loss, and deal with other hurts and abuses. Support groups provide opportunity for spiritually shepherding its members. That happens when leaders, who serve as under-shepherds, guide people to the Chief Shepherd (1 Pet. 5:4) who cares in ways no one else can because He is good (Jn. 10:11), great (Heb. 13:20), and the guardian of our souls (Heb. 13:20-21).

Shepherding a Support Group Involves More Than Facilitating Group Time

The general responsibilities of a shepherd can well be applied to a support group leader who wishes to shepherd the members of the group.

Shepherding Responsibilities Apply to Support GroupsLoving the Sheep: Often people coming to support groups need an extra portion of love and grace.

Serving the Sheep: A leader who consistently serves without worrying about return will tend to make significant impact. In leading a support group, expect giving to be one way though the ultimate goal is for them to learn to reciprocate.

Being an Example to the Sheep: Telling people how to rise above is necessary but showing them how is when they will better understand. Telling people they need to walk the walk even when it hurts and give even when there is no return is important but modeling such behavior speaks to their hearts more than words ever could.

Leading the Sheep Gently: Tough love does not have to be gruff. Tough love should be filled with grace. Shepherds should never be quarrelsome or abusive with the sheep. Do not guise your own frustration and impatience with people as “tough love”.

Equipping the Sheep: A support group should not be to simply provide a place for people to vent their feelings. Rather, the objective should be to help people learn how to rise above and cope in healthy, God-honoring ways.

The Shepherding Ministry Manual contains the above content about how to shepherd a support group. It also includes the instruction at: Shepherding Ministry Venue: Support Groups

Certainly you can see how support group leaders who want to effectively shepherd must view their role as more than a group facilitator. They need the heart and mindset of a shepherd … specifically, of the Chief Shepherd.

For Materials You might Use in a Support Group, check out: Christian Support Group Resources: Books & Curriculum

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Christian Counseling: Can anybody be a lay counselor?

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Training Category: People Helping Ministry

In some regards, yes, any believer fulfilling the one another commands of Scripture not only can, but will be a counselor. Undoubtedly a significant portion of professional counseling could be eliminated if the church was committed to living out the ‘one another’ commands of Scripture.

. . . admonish one another . . . bear one another’s burdens . . . build up one another . . . care for one another . . . comfort one another . . . confess faults to one another . . . encourage one another . . . spur one another on

Surely, in this kind of dynamic atmosphere, healing and change would occur. People would find the church to be a safe place, among those who accept one another.

The intent of this post, however, is not to provide a dissertation on the pros and cons of professional counseling. Nor is the objective to provide in-depth coverage of clinical counseling or abnormal psychology. The intent is to help church leaders and workers to more effectively counsel in the normal course of ministry — pastoral, lay, or peer counselors.

Spiritual Gifts in a Lay Counselor

While we can can be involved in counseling others as we live out the one another commands of Scripture, there are those who are gifted to come alongside of people in a more concerted or intentional way. People with the gift of exhortation may find themselves in this role more than those without that gift.

Qualities in a Good Counselor

warmth
genuineness
ability to empathize
ability to listen
confidentiality

People Helping Ministry Manual - Help with Christian Counseling
(Click image to learn more about this resource.)

The People Helping Ministry Manual includes a section on counseling with this content as well as some input on each of the above qualities. Other topics in that section:

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Spiritual Gifting of Deacons & Deaconesses

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Deacons & Deaconesses Spiritual Gifting
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Specific spiritual gifting is not listed in the qualifications given in 1 Timothy 3:8-13 nor in other verses pertaining to deacons. Given that the responsibility of deacons seems to be that of tending to the practical needs in the church, hence freeing up the elders to preach the Word and tend to the spiritual matters or shepherding in the Body, we can surmise what gifts would help them accomplish this service-oriented ministry.

The Spiritual Gifts Deacons and Deaconesses Do Not Need To Accomplish Their Responsibilities

The Bible seems to make a distinction between the responsibilities of deacons and elders.

1) The original Greek words are distinct.  “Presbuteros” (elders) signifies those who exercise oversight while “diakonos” (deacons) suggests those who serve.

2) The qualifications listed in 1 Timothy 3 show elders needing to be “able to teach” (1 Tim. 3:2) but that qualification is not listed for deacons.

3) In Acts 6 the ministry of serving (diakoneo) the widows was delegated to others so the shepherds of the church did not have “to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables.” Those chosen for this servant-oriented task accomplished the type of ministry for which deacons seem to responsible, implying that they are not responsible for preaching or teaching the Word.

Consequently, deacons and deaconesses would not need the spiritual gifts of teaching or prophecy to effectively accomplish their responsibilities. This doesn’t mean that they can’t have these gifts but simply that they would not be required.

The Primary Spiritual Gifts That Fit the Ministry of Deacons and Deaconesses

The Spiritual Gift of Helps

One of the objectives of deacons and deaconesses seems to be that of freeing up elders for preaching and shepherding by doing any variety of practical tasks so the elders do not have to do it all and thus be distracted from their primary responsibilities. Someone with the spiritual gift of helps would be well suited for such a supportive role.

The Spiritual Gift of Service

The Greek word for deacon is “diakonos” and the word used for the gift of service is “diakonia”, a form of the same word. Consequently, it would seem quite appropriate that a deacon might have the spiritual gift of service to fulfill his/her responsibilities. Someone with the gift of service would be prone to identifying the tasks that need to be done, whatever they might be, and use available resources to get the job done.

The Spiritual Gift of Mercy

Though not called deacons in Acts 6, the men were chosen to serve (diakoneo) widows. Very likely many of the needs deacons might encounter would be of a benevolent nature. Someone with the spiritual gift of mercy would exercise the kind of compassion people in these kinds of situations could use as practical needs are met.

Other Spiritual Gifts That Could Help Accomplish the Ministry of Deacons and Deaconesses

The Spiritual Gift of Administration

So many needs exist in the church that it takes organization and planning to effectively accomplish it all. Someone with the spiritual gift of administration could therefore serve well as the one who coordinates these efforts and matches up the right people to meet the needs.

The Spiritual Gift of Hospitality

The needs deacons serve can range from benevolence, finances, facilities, and many other logistics within the church. Still, other needs could relate to visitors or newcomers to the church who need to not only be ushered to their seats but also feel welcomed in a special way. A deacon with the spiritual gift of hospitality could extend that relational warmth while meeting their practical need of knowing where to go and what to do.

Quite possibly, a deacon could have one or a combination of the above spiritual gifts. The specific gift(s) the deacon has could be used to determine the kinds of needs on which that person most frequently focuses his/her time and energy. Ideally a deacon board will include a good balance of the gifts needed to effectively accomplish this ministry.

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Responsibility of Deacons & Deaconesses

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What the Bible Teaches About Deacons & Deaconesses

Deacons and Deaconesses Responsibilities in Church
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We know that they are usually mentioned with church leadership. For example, 1 Timothy 3:1-7 gives qualifications of overseers and then beginning in verse 8 we read, “In the same way, deacons are to be …” In addressing the Philippians church, the Apostle Paul wrote, “To all God’s holy people in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons” (Phil. 1:1).

We also know that they must be held to a high standard. See 1 Timothy 3:8-13 for a list of qualifications.

And, we know that they must be chosen wisely. You are not to take an “anyone will do” attitude in selecting deacons. 1 Timothy 3:10 clearly states, “They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.”

Also, we know that both men and women appear to have served in this capacity in the early church – so there were deacons and deaconesses. Phoebe is an example given of a deaconess (Rom. 16:1).

What the Bible Does Not Specifically Say About Deacons

We do not find much teaching in the Bible about what a deacon does. The primary passage pertaining to deacons, 1 Timothy 3:8-13, deals with the character and life of someone who qualifies to be a deacon or deaconess. Their duties are not provided in this passage or other verses. We can, however, look at the original Greek word for help. “Diakonos” is probably from the verb “dioko” which, according to Vine’s Dictionary, means “to hasten after, pursue” primarily denoting a servant or an attendant who waits on others. Accordingly, a deacon would then be someone who cares for the needs of others.

Acts 6 is often used as an example of the work of deacons. Be careful to note, however, that the seven men chosen for this responsibility were not actually called deacons in that passage. Yet, we do find the verb form of diakonos in verse two which says, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on (diakoneo) tables.” The early church leaders, the Twelve Apostles, could not do everything. When complaints surfaced that the “widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food” they knew something had to be done. They said, “choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them” (v. 3).

Though we do not read that they were officially called deacons, they certainly seem like they could be:

1) Their responsibility was to care for the needs of others … specifically here, widows.
2) Those chosen for this task had to meet certain qualifications … known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom.
3) They fulfilled ministry that freed up the leaders to do what they should be doing … the ministry of the Word of God.

Caring for the widows would be just one example of how deacons might tend to the practical needs in the church, hence freeing up the elders to preach the Word and shepherd the Body. Undoubtedly there would be many other practical needs for them to meet besides benevolence.

And, the Bible does not tell us what spiritual gifts a deacon or deaconess should have to fulfill their responsibility. In light of what we have concluded about their responsibility, we can surmise which gifts would be good for them to have. That, however, is a topic for the next post.

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Just a Teacher’s Helper? Ouch!

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When members of the church body say, “I’m just a …” it is suggesting that they are unimportant or at least not as important as someone else.

Bible Teacher's Helper

In this case the person might be saying,

“I’m not as important as a teacher. He/she is doing what really matters, what truly counts for eternity.”

Ouch!

Here’s why that perception is hurtful:

Think about the heart of God who designed the church to be interdependent, meaning that each person is needed and important (1 Cor. 12:18-27). Do you really think God made a mistake with you? How that perception must grieve Him!

Think about what is being taught, the life-changing Word of God (2 Tim. 3:16-17). If you aren’t pouring yourself wholeheartedly into this ministry because you are just a teacher’s helper, will students be receiving the best learning experience they could? That potentially can hurt the spiritual growth of students.

Think about teachers without a teacher’s helper trying to minister to more students than they can adequately attend to, having to sometimes zero in on individual issues or details that causes them to lose the attention of the remainder of the class. This can hurt their effectiveness.

People who make good teacher’s helpers often have the spiritual gift of helps. They are used by God to assist in ways that free teachers up to focus their attention on actual teaching. Teacher’s helpers have a vital role in the teaching-learning process!

  • A teacher’s helper can better look around and observe what is going on in the classroom and prevent problems from occurring. To say you are just a teacher’s helper suggests that it would be better for a teacher to have to stop the lesson and discipline than help students understand God’s Word. Ouch! While disciplining can, and should, be turned into teachable moments, the clock ticks on when a teacher must stop to turn attention to an individual and risk losing attention of the whole.
  • A teacher’s helper often can identify individual students who need extra help in understanding the lesson. To say you are just a teacher’s helper suggests it wouldn’t matter if students remained confused, doubtful, or developing a mistruth about God’s Word because they didn’t receive clarification. Ouch!
  • A teacher’s helper can usually take time to hone in on individual needs and thus free up students to learn. To say you are just a teacher’s helper suggests it is better to ignore special needs or challenges students have that can distract them or hold them back from growing in grace and in the knowledge of God (2 Pet. 3:18). Ouch!
  • A teacher’s helper is able to form relationships with students in ways teachers often can’t because the teacher’s focus is on the big picture. To say you are just a teacher’s helper suggests that being able to show the love of God to individual students doesn’t matter. Ouch! Jesus Himself stressed the priority of love (Matt. 22:39-40; Jn. 15:9-13).

Teacher’s helpers are needed. They have a vital role in the teaching-learning process, helping students know and love God better. — You are not “just” a teacher’s helper.

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Just a Church Secretary? Ouch!

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Administrative Professionals Day & Church SecretaryIn the U.S. we have a holiday, Administrative Professionals Day, in which we try to let those who do clerical type of work know that they are appreciated. One day, however, will not stress the importance of those in the church who serve in this capacity. Pastors and other ministry leaders need to treat the church secretary, or administrative assistant, as vital every day because they truly are important to the work of God through His Church.

Let’s not get the attitude that they are “just a church secretary” and contribute to feelings of inferiority. After all, they aren’t the pastor or ministry leader, one might think. They don’t have an upfront ministry but merely do behind the scenes work, one might reason.

People who do clerical work often have the spiritual gift of helps and/or service both of which typically are used in behind-the-scenes ministry. To think this makes them less needed? Ouch!

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” (1 Cor. 12:21)

People who do clerical work often are not upfront leaders. They might hold what could be considered a “lesser” position than a church pastor or ministry leader. To think that makes them less important? Ouch!

On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. (1 Cor. 12:22-23)

Church secretaries, administrative assistants — anyone doing clerical type of work or assisting church leadership, tend to keep leaders on track, coordinate so much of the ministry in the church, and serve as the first contact of people who call in or stop by the church for help.

  • Many pastors would feel lost without this servant. Often this person makes leaders look better than they really are and rarely get the credit.
  • Many ministries would be disorganized and floundering without this help. Often people do not stop to think about why things run so efficiently.
  • Many people would not have a good first impression if someone wasn’t there to warmly greet and connect them to the help they need. Often we don’t think of how important that is to outsiders.

Are you in this role saying you are “just a Church Secretary”? No way! You are needed, important … indispensable! You might not be told that enough but if faithfully serving, what God thinks of you is what truly matters!

Are you a pastor or ministry leader benefiting from their services with the attitude that they are “just a church secretary”? If so, you need an attitude adjustment! Revisit 1 Corinthians 12 to see this person through God’s eyes and then start showing them more respect, appreciation, and affirmation.

Are you a church member who rarely thinks about how vital behind-the-scenes workers are in God’s work? Maybe it is time to send them a thank you note or better yet express your gratitude in tangible ways now and throughout the year.

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