Since conflict is inevitable in the Church we might question if harmony is possible. To that we must reply that it’s not only possible but commanded. But, doesn’t being harmonious require us to let go of our different ways of thinking and doing things? Actually, it means just the opposite. Rather than let conflict over varying issues divide and destroy us, we come together with all our differences intact to become fuller and better because of it. So, how can that happen?
What It Takes to Be Harmonious
Looking at the context of both Romans 12:16 and 1 Peter 3:8 which exhort us to live in harmony with one another, we learn what accompanies harmony. The ability to be harmonious stems from the way we think so we not only list what we must do but also the perspective needed to get there.
- Don’t worry about making yourself look good. (“Do not be proud.” – Rom. 12:16)
Perspective Needed: It’s not about “me” but about “us” so I must work toward the effect something has on the other person and all of us, not just me.
Also Read: Phil. 2:3
- Accept people who aren’t as mature, qualified, trained, intelligent, or on the same level as you. (“Associate with people of low position.” – Rom. 12:16)
Perspective Needed: God did not accept me on the basis of who I am or what I have done so I must not make others earn my acceptance or approval before I let them into my life.
Also Read: Rom. 15:7
- Lose your sense of superiority. (“Do not be conceited.” – Rom. 12:16; “be … humble” – 1 Pet. 3:8)
Perspective Needed: I am who I am because of the grace of God so I should not see myself as better than someone else.
Also Read: Rom. 12:3; 1 Cor. 15:10
- Take the high road. (“Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” – Rom. 12:17; “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult” – 1 Pet. 3:9)
Perspective Needed: If God gave me everything I deserved, I’d be condemned, so I should be merciful to others and not try to even the score.
Also Read: Matt. 18:21-35
- Learn to be submissive. (“Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.” – Rom. 12:17)
Perspective Needed: If Jesus came to serve, so should I be willing to lay aside my agenda for the sake of unity and the greater good.
Also Read: Phil. 2:4-8
- Focus on being a peace-maker. (“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Rom. 12:18)
Perspective Needed: If Jesus went out of His way to seek reconciliation with me, so should peace-making be a priority for me.
Also Read: James 3:14-18; Rom. 14:19
- Trust God to bring justice to a situation. (“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” – Rom. 12:19)
Perspective Needed: God’s ways are higher than mine and His timing is best so I must let “it” go when there seems to be no resolution and not take matters into my own hands.
Also Read: Prov. 14:12; Isa. 55:9; 2 Thess. 1:4-7
- Forgive people and treat them well instead of as deserved. (“On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” – Rom. 12:20-21; “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing” – 1 Pet. 3:9)
Perspective Needed: If God loved me while I was still a sinner, so should I extend forgiveness and goodness to those who have done me wrong even if they haven’t apologized.
Also Read: Eph. 4:32
- Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. (“be sympathetic” – 1 Pet. 3:8)
Perspective Needed: God wants me to love my neighbor as myself so I must seek to empathize with them and understand where they are coming from.
Also Read: Matt. 22:39; Rom. 12:15; 1 Cor. 12:25-26
- Be devoted to one another. (“love as brothers” – 1 Pet. 3:8)
Perspective Needed: I became part of a family when God adopted me as His own, so I must treat others like they belong and matter to me.
Also Read: Rom. 12:10; Eph. 2:19; Phil. 2:1-2
- Cut each other a break. (“be compassionate” – 1 Pet. 3:8)
Perspective Needed: God takes into account that I am human so I should be tenderhearted toward others.
Also Read: Ps. 103:13-14; Eph. 5:1-2
If we apply these eleven principles to our relationships with one another, we won’t let conflict divide but rather become better because of it. We will come together, in harmony, with all of our differences, like the instruments in an orchestra, and together make a beautiful sound to the ears of those around us and to the glory of God.