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Dysfunctional Approach to Spiritual Gifts: Performance

Posted on December 5, 2011 by Ministry Tools Resource Center — No Comments ↓

One of the definitions for dysfunctional in the Encarta World English Dictionary is “not performing as expected.” In addition to affecting interpersonal relationships and health, a dysfunctional approach to spiritual gifts affects our performance.

Dysfunction Defined in Regard to Performance:

That we were commanded to use our gifts in certain ways, lets us know it is possible to use our gifts with the wrong approach, attitudes, or motivations.

If we are commanded to faithfully use our gifts (1 Pet. 4:10), then it must be possible to use our gifts inconsistently or not to the level we could.

If those with the gift of giving are commanded to give generously (Rom. 12:8), then it must be possible for them to be stingy in using this gift.

If leaders are commanded to lead with diligence (Rom. 12:8), then it must be possible for leaders to get lazy.

If people with the gift of mercy are to show mercy cheerfully (Rom. 12:8), then it must be possible for them to do so begrudgingly or with hesitation.

God expects that in whatever we do, we give it our all, doing our best, for His glory (1 Cor. 10:31; Col. 3:17; 2 Tim. 2:15). Anything short of using our gifts in this way is dysfunctional because we are “not performing as expected.”

To what should we be lining up in the use of our spiritual gifts?

the character of God which is always true and always good and therefore an absolute standard (1 Cor. 14:33, 40)
the purpose of spiritual gifts which is to serve others for the good of the whole, the building up of the Body (1 Cor. 12:7; Eph. 4:12; 1 Pet. 4:10)
the essence/nature of spiritual gifts which is the administration of God’s grace in its various forms (1 Pet. 4:10)

Effects of Dysfunction from Not Performing as Expected:

When we are not performing in accordance with God’s standards, we do not experience the fullness of the His life in and through us. God must remain true to Himself.

We might sense a measure of success but how much more could have been accomplished if done for the right reasons and in the right ways? God will sometimes use us despite ourselves so just because He is choosing to work through us doesn’t mean everything is right with us.

Breaking the Dysfunctional Approach to Spiritual Gifts about Performance:

Breaking Our Dysfunctional Needs for Performance
God will help us break the dysfunction through the following means:

Truth

But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. (2 Cor. 11:3)

Usually when we do not fully line up with God, we are believing some kind of lies … like it doesn’t matter how well I do something as long as I love the Lord, like somehow it is dependent on me, like there should be something in it for me when I serve, etc. When we go into serving with faulty premises, it is bound to affect our performance as our attitudes and motivations make a difference. We must recognize those lies, taking the thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5) and tell ourselves the truth as found in God’s Word.

Grace

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Cor. 9:8)

Only by God’s grace will we be able to do anything. We must constantly pull on His strength, as a branch gets its sustenance from the vine, so we can bear fruit, not just get by in serving. We must always remember Jesus’ words, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (Jn. 15:5). His grace will always be sufficient but we must grab hold of it.

Power

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal. 5:22-23)

These Christ-like characteristics must govern even how we use our spiritual gifts. Any time we do not serve according to His expectations, we are letting self get in the way. The antidote? — “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” (Gal. 5:16)

Click on this link for: Resources on Spiritual Gifts

Dysfunctional Approach to Spiritual Gifts: Relational

Posted on November 30, 2011 by Ministry Tools Resource Center — No Comments ↓

As communicated in a previous post, the Encarta World English Dictionary provides three definitions for the word dysfunctional:

1. relating badly
2. not performing as expected
3. affected by disease or impairment

In this post we will consider the first definition to see how a dysfunctional approach to spiritual gifts ties into interpersonal relationships. Clicking on the links above will take you to other posts.

Dysfunction Defined in Regard to Interpersonal Relationships:

Look at the key passages on spiritual gifts you will find reference to love in each one:

We learn much about spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12 and 14. Sandwiched between those two chapters is an entire chapter about love. Chapter 14 begins, “Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts.”

Ephesians 4:16, dealing with spiritual gifting, notes how the Body “grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

Immediately following a list of some of the gifts, Romans 12:9 says, “Love must be sincere.”

1 Pet. 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply” and two verse later we read about using our gifts.

A dysfunctional approach to spiritual gifts, then, would be using our gifts devoid of love.

Effects of Dysfunction on Relationships:

The absence of love strips our service of its eternal merit.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Cor. 13:1-3)

The absence of love removes safeguards in relationships, opening doors to abuses, neglect, apathy, manipulation, betrayal, and other selfish pursuits.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

The absence of love prevents growth in relationships.

From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. (Eph. 4:16)

The absence of love brings imbalance to communication, leading to greater potential for conflict.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. (Eph. 4:15)

Breaking the Dysfunctional Approach to Spiritual Gifts on Relationships:

God’s help to break our dysfunction comes from the following:

Breaking Our Dysfunction in its Relational Effects Truth

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Pet. 1:3)

Notice the connection between His power and knowledge of Him. What truth do we know about God? — God is love. “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” (1 Jn. 4:16)

Grace

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” (1 Jn. 4:18-19)

When we understand the grace of God in extending unconditional love to us … the kind He demonstrated “while we were still sinners ” (Rom. 5:8) … we will be more prone to reach out to others in love.

Power

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love.” (Gal. 5:22).

The Holy Spirit will build this quality within us as we submit to His control and leading in situations where we find it hard to love those we serve.

Click on this link for: Resources on Spiritual Gifts

Dysfunctional Approach to Spiritual Gifts: Overview

Posted on November 28, 2011 by Ministry Tools Resource Center

A question was posed about the dysfunctional use of spiritual gifts. I hesitate with this because by definition, spiritual gifts are special divine empowerments. For me to say that spiritual gifts can be used dysfunctionally feels like an affront to God, like He can make a mistake, like His ways are not perfect, like His power is not sufficient. When spiritual gifts are truly used, they accomplish what they are supposed to according to His power at work in and through us. Maybe we should ask if dysfunction is present because spiritual gifts are not really being used. Or, perhaps the dysfunction is in the person and not in the use of the gift. Maybe it is our approach to spiritual gifts that is dysfunctional.

Dysfunction Defined:

The Encarta World English Dictionary provides three definitions for the word dysfunctional:

1. relating badly
2. not performing as expected
3. affected by disease or impairment

When something is dysfunctional, then, it is not functioning as it should. In what ways might our approach to spiritual gifts be dysfunctional? The next three posts will attempt to answer that question. Clicking on the above links will take you to those posts.

Effects of Dysfunction in the Body of Christ:

Dysfunction affects interpersonal relationships, performance, and even our health. The effects spill over onto other people. So, in the Body of Christ, we will begin to see disunity, ineffectiveness, and a lack of growth because of a dysfunctional approach to spiritual gifts.

The effects of dysfunction are the opposite of God’s desires for the Church.

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. (Eph. 4:11-15)

Hence, a dysfunctional approach to spiritual gifts does not glorify God.

Breaking Our Dysfunctional Approach to Spiritual Gifts:

Breaking Our Dysfunction As with any kind of dysfunction, we can change when we apply the following to our situation:

Truth

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (Jn. 8:32)

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5)

Grace

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. (Titus 2:11-12)

Power

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. (2 Pet. 1:3)

For Resources to Help, Go to: Spiritual Gifts Resources

Two Kinds of Sensitive: The Unhealthy Kind

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Ministry Tools Resource Center — 2 Comments ↓

In a previous post I noted how I’ve observed sensitive people effectively deal with hard situations in ministry and that I’ve also seen sensitive people exacerbate the same kinds of situation. Why? Because there are two kinds of sensitive. In that post we looked at the healthy kind of sensitivity which means this article is devoted to the unhealthy kind.

Characteristics of People Sensitive in an Unhealthy Way

Unhealthy sensitivity will be characterized by one or more of the following:

consumed with what other people think
conscientious of how one looks and appears to others
defensive when someone appears to disagree
hurt when perceive others disapprove or fail to affirm
embarrassed if even slightly negative comment is about them or their idea

What a difference it makes when we approach people in hard situations with the above sensitivity.

People feel like they must walk on egg shells resulting in shallow or dishonest communication.

People are more prone to react to it defensively, causing them to stumble in their own personal integrity.

When people feel this way they tend to be less cooperative and skeptical of the sensitive person’s intent. Hard situations tend to get even more difficult. Unity is broken and a cycle of dysfunction ensues.

God’s Word Instructs Those with Unhealthy Sensitivity

Unhealthy sensitivity has a negative impact because we get more worried about what people think than what God thinks (Eph. 6:7-8). We want to make sure people know what we’ve done. But, God assures us that He knows and that should be enough (Matt. 6:1-7).

Further, rather than get defensive when people disagree or appear to be in opposition to us, we need to follow God’s instructions which is the opposite of defensiveness (2 Tim. 2:23-26). If we’re truly doing what God want from us, we can be at peace knowing that what He thinks is what truly matters. We are personally accountable to God for what we do. And, others are accountable for what they do.

40 Day Challenge to Maintain Perspective to Help with Unhealthy Sensitivity

If you struggle to grab hold of this biblical perspective, consider doing the 40 Day Challenge for Maintaining a Healthy Perspective. If you would like to use it with your small group, there is also a five session discussion guide to go with it.

Two Kinds of Sensitivity: The Healthy Kind

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Ministry Tools Resource Center — 4 Comments ↓

I’ve seen sensitive people effectively deal with hard situations in ministry. I’ve seen sensitive people exacerbate the same kinds of situations. Why? Because there are two kinds of sensitive. In this post we will look at the healthy kind of sensitivity. The next post will consider the unhealthy kind.

Characteristics of People Sensitive in the Healthy Way

Healthy sensitivity will be characterized by one or more of the following:

responsiveness to the feelings and needs of others
consideration of other people’s time, health, resources, etc.
empathy in trying to look at the issue from the other person’s perspective
sympathy for how the person is affected by the change or difficulty
awareness of people around you and not so focused on the task or objective that we ignore or walk on people
tactfulness in how we say something, not merely blurting out what we need to communicate
interest in the other person’s thoughts or opinions

What a difference it makes when we approach people in hard situations with the above sensitivity. People feel …

cared about.
understood.
respected.

When people feel this way, they tend to be much more cooperative and respond in kind. Hard situations, though still difficult, go so much better. How we approach people can have a huge effect on the outcome as seen in so many church conflicts. People with the right message communicated without sensitivity can leave a trail of damage.

Why Healthy Sensitivity Makes a Difference

Healthy sensitivity makes such a difference because it lines up with God’s Word wherein we learn that Jesus came “full of grace and truth” (Jn. 1:14). If we are going to be Christ-like than we too must “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15). — Certainly sensitivity is a part of grace and love.

God provided us with many guidelines of how we are to relate with one another.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Phil. 2:3-4)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. (Col. 3:12-15)

— Certainly sensitivity is wrapped up in these qualities God expects His people to exhibit toward one another.

When our message, methods, and overall ministry efforts are coupled with a sensitivity toward people, we will tend to more effectively reach our goals and also meet the needs of people.

Church Board Meetings Reflecting What You Say You Want?

Posted on October 24, 2011 by Ministry Tools Resource Center — 3 Comments ↓

Church Board Meetings

How you spend your time in board meetings needs to reflect the kind of board and church you want to be. If you want to be a certain way, then ask how much time you spend doing that which gets you there. If you want to …

be a Spirit-led board. – How much of your time is spent in prayer?
align with God. – How much of your time is spent with God’s Word?
be “like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose” (Phil. 2:1-3). – How much of your time is spent in true fellowship with one another?
fulfill God’s purposes for the Church. – How much of your time is spent measuring decisions against the church’s purpose?

Spend Time in Board Meetings on What’s Important

You might ask how you can spend time in prayer, look at God’s Word, share with one another, and take time to be purposeful and accomplish everything else that needs to be on the agenda.

Consider the possibility that the more time spent in these ways, the less time it will take to get through the agenda. Why? Because you will have opened yourself to God’s heart and ways more and potentially be able to tap into His will quicker.

When minimal time is spent praying, studying the Word, engaging in body life and actively pursuing God’s purposes, more time will be spent discussing, debating, quarreling, etc. to arrive at decisions. You will be less unified and more prone to missing God’s desires for your church.

Be sure to visit the Train Church Leaders Practicum where specific issues like Church Board Meetings are examined in light of the basics of life in Christ. Also, you’ll find this post included in the Steering the Church Toward God’s Purposes Leadership Guide.