Anyone who has served on an elder board or ministry team knows that we don’t always agree with one another about the best course of action. Ideally all decisions would be born out of prayer, and we would all get on the same page. But, we’re humans who don’t always walk in the Spirit and who come together from a variety of backgrounds and personalities with preconceived ideas and ways of doing things. It only takes one person in a group to be out of sync to head disagreements down a destructive path. We may be tempted to apply a quick solution to shut down the disagreement rather than seek for real change.
The Objective Will Determine if We Seek Real Change or Apply a Quick Solution
If our objective is to please everyone, we’ll want to do whatever it takes to keep peace. It seems like a quick fix to compromise or cover over key issues. That’s what we tend to do if our goal is to keep people happy.
When our objective is to come out better on the other end, we seek to learn from each other. We look for unity out of diversity. We want peace that comes from the heart not that which is insincere or manipulative (Rom. 12:16-21; 14:17-19; Phil. 2:1-2).
Results of Our Approach to Settling Disagreements
Quick solutions to appease people end up putting their concerns above God’s. We’ll probably find ourselves compromising where we shouldn’t. The Apostle Paul concluded, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Gal. 1:10). Doing what it takes to arrive at the best solution is often set aside in order to keep people happy.
When we pursue real change, we help people learn what it means to seek the common good which might require setting aside personal preferences for what is best (Phil. 2:1-4). We plead with one another to be of “the same mind in the Lord” (Phil. 4:1-2). It’s about finding unity by getting on page with God, not by appeasing one another (Eph. 2:17-22). It’s about having “the same mindset as Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:5). When that happens, God is glorified (Rom. 15:5-6).
More for Church Leaders: Conflict Management