Mentoring of Younger Mothers

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Mentoring Younger Mothers
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In a previous post we looked at the qualifications in Titus 2 for older women mentoring younger women. Now we turn our attention to the young women and areas for which such a mentoring relationship would be beneficial.

Then they (older women) can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (Titus 2:4-5)

Benefits of Mentoring Younger Women

Mentoring opportunities can benefit all younger women whether married or single, with or without children, to help them learn to be godly. However, since Titus 2 specifically refers to young married women with children, this post will focus on mentoring that can be especially helpful for them.

Training women to be good wives as well as good mothers is so important. Children learn respect in the home. Much of it comes through observing the way parents treat one another. Mentoring younger mothers is critical because how a child is reared can affect future generations.

Areas in Which Young Mothers Benefit from Being Mentored

Following are areas or seasons of life for which a mother would especially benefit from mentoring by an older woman.

M – Maternity

Love for a child begins to develop during pregnancy and continues on through the good and bad times. How do they prepare for the changes a new child brings to the home, their marriage relationship and life in general so they don’t feel resentment or regret?

O – Obligations

Titus 2 says they should be taught to be “busy at home.” How do they manage work and family life to keep it in balance?

T – Toddlers & Teens

Loving children at all times seems like a given but there are certain stages children go through that can be particularly trying during which a mentor would be particularly helpful. How do they show love when the child is not acting very lovable?

H – Husband

Children learn respect in the home, much of which comes through observing how their parents treat one another. How do they demonstrate love and submission toward their husbands, keeping this relationship a priority, when it seems so hard to balance life?

E – Emotions

Titus 2 goes beyond the “how-to” of being a good wife and mother to inner qualities such as self-control and kindness. How do they learn to react to the stresses of life in emotionally healthy ways?

R – Relationships

Titus 2 also says older women should teach younger women to be pure. Obviously self-control and purity go together. If a younger woman hasn’t learned self-control, it will be harder to maintain purity in relationships. How do they get to a point where they can turn from temptations, especially when life seems like it would be better otherwise or when they feel like they need an escape from their current realities?

Results of Being Mentored

Effectively mentoring young mothers in the above areas will result in:

  • Women who become godly, exhibiting the characteristics of the woman in Proverbs 31 of whom it is written that “Her children arise and call her blessed” (Ps. 31:28)
  • Women who not only rear children who honor her but also who become lights in the world around them because of the way they live and consequently do not “malign the word of God” (Titus 2:5)

Read More:  Mentoring as a Shepherding Ministry

Also Check Out: Women’s Ministry Resources

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Mentoring by Older Women

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Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women . . . (Titus 2:3-4a)

We hear the Apostle Paul’s exhortation for older women to mentor younger women. They have an experience base from which to pull much wisdom of how they learned to cope with the responsibilities of life. They can teach younger women what they gleaned from both their successes and failings.

Older Women Mentoring Younger Women

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But, older women mentoring younger women isn’t just about passing on “how to” be a good wife or mother. They are to also teach them qualities essential to being godly women. That is why Paul puts qualifications on the mentors. The church also has a responsibility to “teach the older women” to be a certain way so they can “teach what is good.” Notice that it is “then” that “they can train the younger women.”

Qualities Needed in Older Women to Effectively Mentor Younger Women

To mentor younger women to “be” who they should be and not merely “do” what they should do takes more than words. It takes a role model, someone who lives what they say, to “train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands” (Titus 2:4-5).

  • If young women are to learn to be godly from their mentor, then they need mentors who are “reverent” … consecrated to the Lord.
  • If young women are to learn to be submissive from their mentor, then they need to see that reverence in their mentors spill over into “the way they live” in relationship with others. Submission grows out of respect.
  • If young women are to learn to be kind and pure from their mentor, then they need a mentor who does not “slander” or demean others through gossip or other negative words.
  • If young women are to learn to be self-controlled from their mentor, then they need a mentor who is not “addicted to much wine” or any other vice or bondage.

Lining Up a Mentoring Ministry with Titus 2

Do you have, or want to begin, a mentoring program at your church for women? Following are three questions for you to think through to line up what you do with Titus 2.

1) What criteria should be in a mentor?

Remember, more goes into mentoring than passing on life experiences so don’t make it about merely pairing up women based on who has been through similar life experiences. The mentor, according to Titus 2, should display certain qualities. Think through how you will know when an older woman is ready to be a mentor.

2) How will you recruit mentors?

Not all older women are qualified to join in such an endeavor. Think through how you present this opportunity to the older women of your church so you are not in an awkward position of turning some women away.

3) What training should be required of mentors?

Some older women are already godly or “reverent in the way they live” so they might not need as much teaching but should still go through training to remind them of what mentoring is all about. Think through what should be included in that basic plan.

Older women who do not meet the criteria of Titus 2 probably will not drastically change as the result of a few training sessions. Bondages are usually not easily or quickly broken. Think through how you can extend prolonged teaching, perhaps counseling or they themselves being mentored, to help them become more godly.

Read More:  Mentoring as a Shepherding Ministry

Also Check Out: Women’s Ministry Resources

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Just a Church Secretary? Ouch!

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Administrative Professionals Day & Church SecretaryIn the U.S. we have a holiday, Administrative Professionals Day, in which we try to let those who do clerical type of work know that they are appreciated. One day, however, will not stress the importance of those in the church who serve in this capacity. Pastors and other ministry leaders need to treat the church secretary, or administrative assistant, as vital every day because they truly are important to the work of God through His Church.

Let’s not get the attitude that they are “just a church secretary” and contribute to feelings of inferiority. After all, they aren’t the pastor or ministry leader, one might think. They don’t have an upfront ministry but merely do behind the scenes work, one might reason.

Appreciate Them Based on God’s Viewpoint

People who do clerical work often have the spiritual gift of helps and/or service both of which typically are used in behind-the-scenes ministry. To think this makes them less needed? Ouch!

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” (1 Cor. 12:21)

People who do clerical work often are not upfront leaders. They might hold what could be considered a “lesser” position than a church pastor or ministry leader. To think that makes them less important? Ouch!

On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. (1 Cor. 12:22-23)

They are More Than “Just” a Church Secretary

Church secretaries, administrative assistants — anyone doing clerical type of work or assisting church leadership, tend to keep leaders on track, coordinate so much of the ministry in the church, and serve as the first contact of people who call in or stop by the church for help.

  • Many pastors would feel lost without this servant. Often this person makes leaders look better than they really are and rarely get the credit.
  • Many ministries would be disorganized and floundering without this help. Often people do not stop to think about why things run so efficiently.
  • Many people would not have a good first impression if someone wasn’t there to warmly greet and connect them to the help they need. Often we don’t think of how important that is to outsiders.

Are you in this role saying you are “just a Church Secretary”? No way! You are needed, important … indispensable! You might not be told that enough but if faithfully serving, what God thinks of you is what truly matters!

Are you a pastor or ministry leader benefiting from their services with the attitude that they are “just a church secretary”? If so, you need an attitude adjustment! Revisit 1 Corinthians 12 to see this person through God’s eyes and then start showing them more respect, appreciation, and affirmation.

Are you a church member who rarely thinks about how vital behind-the-scenes workers are in God’s work? Maybe it is time to send them a thank you card or note or better yet express your gratitude in tangible ways now and throughout the year.

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Measuring Effectiveness of Sunday School Ministry

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Feedback Questions for Measuring EffectivenessSomeone asked for some specific questions to get feedback from both students and teachers about Sunday School in a comment on “So, You Were Asked to be the Sunday School Superintendent“. I knew my response would be lengthy and pertinent to many Sunday School Superintendents so I made it into a post.

I’m keeping this general enough to be broadly used. Simply tailor the questions to the age you teach and your particular situation.

Assessments of Sunday School could get detailed in measuring the effectiveness of the curriculum, the classroom space or facilities, teachers, and the like. You will find some assessment tools in the Christian Education Files resource on those areas. What I’m providing in this post are questions measuring the overall effectiveness of your Sunday School ministry.

The questions about Sunday School will measure the following:

1) The purpose for your Sunday School versus people’s perceptions of its purpose

The responses to this question should help you determine if you are adequately communicating and/or fulfilling the purpose. If not, you need to determine steps you can take to: 1) make sure your purpose is what it should be, 2) better communicate why you have a Sunday School, and 3) train leaders, teachers, and other Sunday School workers to better work toward that purpose.

2) The strengths and weaknesses of your Sunday School ministry

The responses to these questions should help you know what you should keep doing and in what ways you need to improve. You might not be able to act on every idea but you should at least prayerfully consider what you can do differently as a result of what was shared. Improvements could be made immediately or turned into long-term goals. But, asking for feedback is only beneficial if you plan to change where you can.

3) The effectiveness of your Sunday School ministry

The responses to these questions should help you determine if you are utilizing this program of the church to its maximum potential. The questions provided are thus divided into four areas in which Sunday School can be beneficial: 1) spiritual growth, 2) reaching out to the unsaved, 3) fellowship, and 4) assimilation.

As in all you do, make sure to embed this whole process of evaluating your Sunday School  in prayer. Ask for wisdom in drafting the specific questions you should use. Trust God to guide students in honestly responding. Pray God shows you how you should use the results of this survey.

Questions to evaluate your program’s effectiveness:

Under each of the areas you will find questions for students and then for teachers as they will be coming at it from different perspectives so  make two separate forms. The questions are close enough that it should help you see if there is a gap between what teachers think is happening and feedback from student realities. In most cases their responses should also provide some suggestions of what you can do to bridge that gap.

1) The purpose of Sunday School

Use the same question for both students and teachers:

  • What do you think is the purpose of Sunday School?

2) The strengths and weaknesses of your Sunday School ministry

Use these questions for students:

  • What makes you want to come to Sunday School?
  • What makes you want to stay away from Sunday School?
  • If you could change one thing about Sunday School, what would it be?

Use these questions for teachers:

  • What is the most positive thing about teaching Sunday School to you?
  • What is the most negative thing about teaching Sunday School to you?
  • What can the church do to make Sunday School teaching a more positive experience for you?

3) The effectiveness of your Sunday School ministry

Measuring spiritual growth:

Use these questions for students:

  • How has Sunday School helped you in your walk with God?
  • What can we do to better help you know and love the Lord?

Use these questions for teachers:

  • What evidence do you see that your class is helping students get to know and love the Lord better?
  • What training, tools, or tasks would help you more effectively disciple your students?
Measuring outreach:

Use these questions for students:

  • Would you feel comfortable bringing your unsaved friends to Sunday School? Why or why not?
  • In what ways do you feel Sunday School is helping you want to reach out to your friends and families?

Use these questions for teachers:

  • What evidence do you see that your class is drawing in and reaching the unsaved?
  • What evidence do you see that Sunday School is better equipping your students to reach out to their friends and family?
  • What training, tools, or tasks would help you more effectively use Sunday School as a means of reaching the unsaved?
Measuring fellowship:

Use these questions for students:

  • In what ways does Sunday School help you develop Christian friendships?
  • How has God used fellow students  to help you grow in your relationship with God?
  • How has your Sunday School class met specific needs you have had in your personal life?

Use these questions for teachers:

  • What evidence do you see that Sunday School is helping students form spiritual bonds among one another?
  • What is being done to build community among students?
  • What training, tools, or tasks would help you more effectively build community among students?
Measuring assimilation:

Use these questions for students:

  • How does Sunday School help you feel like a part of this church?
  • How does Sunday School prepare you to get involved in the ministry of this church?

Use these questions for teachers:

  • What evidence do you see of Sunday School helping students get acclimated to the whole church and not just your class?
  • What evidence do you see of students becoming better equipped to serve as a result of Sunday School?
  • What training, tools, or tasks would help you more effectively assimilate students into total church life and ministry?

Please note: You may copy and use these questions to measure the effectiveness of your Sunday School ministry. If you are using all or most of the questions verbatim, you should make attribution to the source simply by a footnote such as: “Provided by Ministry Tools Resource Center – http://MinTools.com”

General Help on Doing Assessments:

Leadership Skills: Assessment

Ministry Needs Assessment

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So You Want to Become a Christian Writer!

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Suggestions for Becoming a Christian WriterWhen asked for suggestions as to what path to take in becoming a Christian writer, I didn’t know the background of the person. What was clear, however, is that this individual needed a starting point.  If you don’t begin somewhere, you’ll never go anywhere.  As in pursuing anything, you need to bathe this venture in much prayer, continuing to pray at every turn.

Possible Starting Points for Becoming a Christian Writer

The starting point may not be the same for everyone depending on one’s background but following are some suggestions:

1) The starting point could be some training.

Have you considered writing courses?  Sometimes you can take courses at community colleges. Christian writers’ organizations often offer conferences. Search online for what is available. How much you invest time-wise and financially depends on how seriously you wish to pursue writing.

If you want to begin simply by reading, you’ll find some helpful articles and books about writing on the Church Communications Resources page.

2) The starting point could be networking.

Sometimes connecting with other writers helps spur you on as you see the journey they have taken to get to where they are today. Remember Proverbs 27:17 — “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

Support and encouragement from other writers can be invaluable. From casual sharing with one another to deliberate mentoring, any kind of input can help you grow as a writer.

3) The starting point could be to simply begin writing.

Online blogs can provide a platform to share what God lays on your heart.  Realize, however, that just because you build it does not mean people will come. You must promote your blog to secure readers.

You can write online and offline articles.  Search online for article sites to which you can submit your articles to make them available to others.  Writing for magazines is another possibility. Learn the requirements of the various magazines and send a query letter to see if they are interested in what you plan to write.  Slant the article to match that magazine.  If your church has a newsletter, they might be open to including an article from you.

Then there are books.  You can go through a book publisher which can be a tough market to break into if you do not have a portfolio of writing or perhaps if you are not a well-known speaker. Getting articles published first enhances the possibilities of book submissions being accepted. Or, you can self-publish.  If you do that, find a good proof-reader. Usually the more books you get printed, the less cost per book, though print on demand is becoming more popular and less expensive.  The downside with self-publishing is that you might then need to do your own promotion and distribution.

The Christian Writers’ Market Guide provides contact info and submission guidelines for both books and magazines. (link goes to an affiliate store)

The starting point could include all three points mentioned above simultaneously.

Where ever you start, just make sure you begin. Diligently stay the course, trusting God to open doors and use your writing to His glory whether done professionally or in a church newsletter or personal blog.

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Character Education a Good Thing? – Depends on the Purpose

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Character Traits

In previous posts we determined that character education must be evaluated in light of these questions:

What constitutes good character? – Is it defined by God’s character or self-determined?

How do we acquire these character traits? – Is it performance-based or developed as we grow in our relationship with God through His grace and power?

Finally, if we want to know if character education is a good thing, we must also ask, What is the ultimate purpose in developing good character? – Is it for self-promotion and “what’s in it for me?” or for the glory of God?

Character Education Must Have the Right Purpose

For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.  (2 Pet. 1:8-9)

While godly qualities lead to effectiveness and productivity, there’s a greater purpose than that.

What is the purpose of being effective? — “whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Cor. 10:31)

What is the purpose of being productive (fruitful)? — “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit …” (Jn. 15:8)

—- If the goal of character development is simply to become better people, it misses the mark.  Or, if it is with the end of being more accomplished in order to gain the applause or favor of others, it falls short.

God should ultimately be the focus in any character development.  We become more Christ-like so we can let the light of our lives shine more on Him than us.

“let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (Matt. 5:16)

Remember, for character education to be good, whether teaching traits from the pulpit, in the classroom, or in a discipleship relationship …

  1. God and His character must be the standard.  Guard against anything that makes it self-determined.
  1. God’s power and grace are essential for character development.  Guard against anything that makes it self-effort.
  1. God’s glory is the end result of character change.  Guard against anything that makes self-promotion the goal.

If you don’t guard against these pitfalls, look what you are left with: — “self”

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