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Harmony Amid Conflict?

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God’s Word tells us to “live in harmony with one another” (1 Pet. 3:8). With so much conflict around us, is harmony possible in the Church? We’re all so different with varying views and opinions. Can we really come together as a unified whole?

Living in Harmony Isn’t an Option

Living harmoniously isn’t an option for us as believers. God commands us to live in harmony with one another (Rom. 12:16-21; 1 Pet. 3:8-9). The beginning of 1 Peter 3:8 provides two important points: “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another …”

  1. “All” means each and every one of us so none of us are the exception.
  2. The use of the term “one another”, allelon in the original language, suggests a mutual, reciprocal response of members toward each other. That means, even in conflict, both the offended party as well as the offender work toward reconciliation (Matt. 5:23-24).

Since this is a command for each one of us, let’s look more closely at what it means to live in harmony.

Being Harmonious Doesn’t Mean a Lack of Differences

Living in Harmony Despite our Differences
Liken living harmoniously to an orchestra. Different instruments with different shapes and sounds come together to make a fuller and harmonious sound. The instruments do not all become the same. They bring their differences together.

In the Church, members likewise have varying parts. We’re different from each other, not only in gifting but also in the ways we think and express ourselves. When we bring our differences together, we can produce something stronger, even better.

Problems come when even just one instrument is out of tune, makes a mistake, or decides to do their own thing instead of coordinating with the whole. We then experience a break in harmony. Sinful actions and reactions are always wrong. Some conflict, however, isn’t the result of sin but rather differences.

We’re all human. It only takes one person in a relationship to act contrary to the Spirit, in one’s old nature, offending another person, and there will be conflict. Or, it might be a misinterpretation of what someone has done or said. Either way, perceived or real, we have conflict.

We are all individuals, with varying personalities, philosophies, and perspectives. Whenever two different ideas or ways of doing things collide, conflict ensues.

How We Handle Our Differences Determines if We Experience Harmony Amid Conflict

We must pay attention to the warning signs of conflict turning bad. If we don’t, we open the door for the devil to wreak havoc among us.

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Eph. 4:26-27)

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (James 3:14-16)

We must make harmony our ultimate objective when we find ourselves in any kind of conflict.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Rom. 12:18)

When it comes to conflict management, “true reconciliation — the healing of the relationship — is the primary objective, not resolving the issues” (quote from an article on the TrainChurchLeaders.com site). We can be harmonious without agreeing on an issue. We don’t have to like what a person says or does to live in harmony with them.

But, you might ask …

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A Two-Fold Purpose in Life

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When asked about the greatest commandment in the law, Jesus’ responded with what could be summed up in one word — LOVE (Matt. 22:36-40). Though only asked what He viewed as the greatest commandment, Jesus broke it down into two commands:

#1 – Love God.
#2 – Love people.

Since Jesus identified these as the greatest commandments, it only makes sense that we consider them as our two-fold purpose in life.

Why a Two-Fold Purpose?

Jesus didn’t stop with the greatest commandment, which is to love God with all of who we are. Why give more than He was asked, especially since the person asking was trying to test Him? Further, the Old Testament verses Jesus quoted don’t mention both commands together.

Perhaps these two commandments tie together so closely that Jesus couldn’t state one without the other. Love for God and love for people have to go hand in hand. Love for people spills out of our love for God. If we love God, we will love people.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 Jn. 4:8)

If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. (1 Jn. 4:20-21)

Perhaps Jesus wants us to know that life in Him isn’t an either/or. When we accept Jesus into our life, we’re placed into the Body of Christ. We first and foremost love Him but we also love one another.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (Jn. 15:12)

And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. (1 Jn. 3:23)

Steering the Church Toward God’s Priorities as Given in the Greatest Commandments

Steering the Church Toward God's Two-Fold Purpose
If Jesus identified both love for God and love for people as top priorities, certainly as a Church we should be helping people live out these purposes. Church leaders have a major role in keeping the church on track in this two-fold purpose. You’ll find the above content in the Steering the Church Toward God’s Purposes Leadership Guide which also considers some implications of this truth for our church bodies and leaders.

For even more help steering the Church in this direction, go to: Church Purpose Resources

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Questions to Evaluate Your Christian Education Ministry

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A previous post points to how we have a lot to do in the Christian Education ministries of the Church. We need to step back and evaluate whether all this activity yields the right results. What kinds of questions should we ask?

Questions for Help Evaluating Your Christian Education Ministry

Christian Education FilesThe Christian Education Files Download provides some guidelines and helps for some of the areas in this ministry of the church. The embolden parts of the following list describe what you’ll find in that resource. The simple yes/no questions reframe the topics into a simple evaluation of each area. The ideal, of course, would be to respond positively to all the questions. If responding with “no, not sure, or somewhat”, then ask why. Also ask what changes should be made to improve in those areas.

Classroom Evaluation: Are the facilities conducive to learning?

Curriculum Evaluation: Does the curriculum promote learning that takes people beyond the cognitive?

Ministry Description Template: Do workers know not only what is expected of them but how they fit into the big picture?

Policy Guidelines: Are you deliberate in coordinating ministry to meet needs, with some accountability built into the process?

Safety Guidelines: Do people involved in these ministries feel safe physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually?

Supporting Workers: Do people feel appreciated, encouraged, and built up as they serve in this ministry?

Teacher Evaluation: Are teachers growing and continuing to improve in their ministry?

Training Approach: Are you effectively training teachers?

Training Means: Are you using a variety of means to tailor training to your teachers’ needs?

Training Survey: Do you know what your teachers need to make them more effective?

Check out the Christian Education Files Download for help implementing a ministry strategy that positively answers the above questions. Better yet, check out the Christian Education Bundle which include the Files resource plus two other helpful resources.

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Encourage One Another

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Encourage One Another - 1 Thess. 5:11According to 1 Thessalonians 5:11, God has given us the responsibility of encouraging one another. It demonstrates that we’re members of one another in the Body of Christ (Rom. 12:5). The New Testament contains numerous uses of the phrase “one another” (allelon in the original language). This word depicts a mutual, reciprocal effort on the part of believers, one toward the other. The word for encourage, parakaleo, denotes calling to one’s side, further strengthening the idea of being there for one another. We come alongside of fellow believers to have a positive effect on their lives, and they in ours.

About Encouragement

Read through the context of 1 Thessalonians 5:11 and you’ll discover some key points like why we need encouragement, who needs it, and how to encourage. (Click on the links below for more on those points.)

We need encouragement to be lights in a dark world. We can encourage one another to remain alert and self-controlled so we reflect our Lord in all we do.

Everyone needs encouragement. As one of the many one-another commands of Body life, encouraging each other occurs reciprocally. No one should have to face the hardships of life alone.

Each one needs encouragement tailored to them. How we encourage one another varies based a person’s particular situation and needs. While encouraging one another should be reciprocal, the way we encourage may differ.

The Best Way to Encourage One Another

Though how we each need encouragement varies, we all need to be pointed to God as the ultimate Source of encouragement.

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. (2 Thess. 2:16-17)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (paraklesis which is the noun form of the verb parakaleo translated in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 as to encourage) … (2 Cor. 1:3)

As we continue on to verse 4 of 2 Corinthians 1, we read that it is this God “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God”. Again, the word for comfort in that verse is parakaleo, the same word used when told to encourage one another in 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

The best way to encourage others, then, is to pass on the encouragement we received from “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort” for He is our ultimate Source of encouragement.

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What Does the Bible Say About Self-Protectiveness?

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Sometimes when we compare ourselves and come up short, we may do things to protect ourselves from coming under ridicule or feeling bad about ourselves. As seen in previous posts, we may get into self-striving to become better or self-exaltation to appear better. We may put up walls, particularly when we’ve been hurt and don’t want it to happen again. We seek to protect ourselves from further harm and hurt. But, what does the Bible say about self-protectiveness?

The Bible Warns Against Self-Protectiveness

We can find at least four biblical reasons trying to protect ourselves isn’t the best course of action, no matter how hurt we’ve been.

  1. Self-protective measures aren’t necessary when we have a God who is for us. This doesn’t mean bad things will never happen to us, but they will always have a greater purpose than harming us.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died – more than that, who was raised to life – is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? (Rom. 8:31-35)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Rom. 8:28)

  1. Building walls around ourselves goes against one of God’s purposes in sending Jesus to die. Walls separate us from God and others. God, however, sent Jesus so we can be in fellowship, not just with Him but with one another. Who are we to erect walls Jesus died to break down?

… For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. (Eph. 2:11-16)

  1. It’s foolishness to think we’re strong enough to take care of ourselves, especially when we have a God who is fully able.

A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. (Ps. 33:17-19)

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. (Ps. 127:1)

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. (Matt. 10:28)

  1. It’s foolishness for us to think we’re wise enough to know how to best bring about justice. God wants us to leave vengeance to Him, not to take matters into our own hands, which is where self-protective measures may take us. He has the wisdom to do what is right.

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. … (Rom. 12:19-21)

Scripture Encourages Us to Trust God Instead

No Need for Self-Protectiveness with God as our Protector
We can trust God rather than seek to protect ourselves because He promises to be our …
helper (Ps. 121:1-2),
shield (Ps. 18:30),
deliverer (Ps. 3:8),
sustainer (Ps. 3:5),
and hiding place (Ps. 32:7).

Consider these truths about God’s protection:

  • He’s powerful enough to protect us from anyone or anything. If He could create all things out of nothing, certainly He can take care of that which He created.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Ps. 121:1-2)

  • He’s so wise He always knows what’s best.

As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. (Ps. 18:30)

He who watches over you will not slumber. (Ps. 121:3)

Rather Than Put Protective Walls Around Ourselves, Let’s Do This

Remember, there’s a spiritual battle waging around your soul that no amount of self-protection will overcome. Jesus prayed for our protection from the evil one (Jn. 17:15). Jesus is the overcomer (Jn. 16:33). — “… be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God …” (Eph. 6:10-18)

Keep your eyes on what you have in Him rather than your circumstances, troubles, hurts, etc. We can learn to be content, and live the life God intends for us because we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Phil. 4:11-13). In Him, we can have peace, no matter what (Phil. 4:6-7; Jn. 16:33). His peace will guard our hearts even when our circumstances don’t change.

Call on the name of the Lord when feeling vulnerable. Jesus prayed for our protection by the power of His name (Jn. 17:11-12).

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What Does the Bible Say About Self-Exaltation?

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Self-Exaltation is about our need to make ourselves look good. It may stem from comparing ourselves to others. Perhaps we do excel in some areas but feel the need to make sure others know it. Maybe, however, we think we’re not as good as others and so we try to make ourselves appear better by talking and acting like we’re better. Whatever the cause, we’re bragging about ourselves.

The Bible Warns Against Self-Exaltation

God’s Word clearly informs us of His opposition to pride and arrogance. Even if it’s true that we are as good as we say, we’re moving into the dangerous territory of pride which God hates. And, if we aren’t as good as we make ourselves out to be, we’re moving into the manipulative territory of deceit.

To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. (Prov. 8:13)

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Prov. 16:18)

Jesus warned His disciples about pride and wanting to be in a place of honor. He said it’s better to let others recognize and honor you, rather than exalt yourself (Lk. 14:8-11).

For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. (Lk. 14:11)

Jesus taught that we shouldn’t worry about being first or best or always right because that’s when we lose.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matt. 16:24-25)

But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first. (Matt. 19:30)

Scripture Encourages Us to be Humble Instead

We need to get the focus off of ourselves and put it on God. Who we are and what we have in Him is enough. We can trust Him.

Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor. (Prov. 15:33)

We don’t need to be anxious about what others think. When life is all about Him, making ourselves look good becomes less and less important. God will take care of us.

God Opposes Self-Exaltation, Gives Grace to the Humble
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:6-7)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Pet. 5:6-7)

Rather Than Exalt Yourself, Do This

Follow the example of Christ who came to serve others rather than be served. Humility, rather than self-exaltation, exemplifies Christlikeness. With the focus off ourselves, and onto God, we’re freed to serve.

… whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mk. 10:43-45)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. … (Phil. 2:3-11)

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