You can know a ministry leader has adapted Christ-like ways of leading rather than controlling or abusive ways when:
They are consistently or persistently encouraged and affirmed as people loved by God, made to feel unconditionally accepted in Him.
They are made to feel like they have a part in the Body of Christ, that their spiritual input matters to the growth and health of the Body.
They are encouraged to reach out beyond the walls of the church, as well as to fellowship with one another wherein they will learn and be built up.
They are trusted to make decisions within parameters and are consulted on other important decisions.
They are given Biblical principles to discern how to be good stewards and are given tools to help where they struggle.
In essence, when leaders build up, respect, and trust their members, they are acting as fellow-servants. In Matthew 20:25-28 Jesus identified servanthood as the way He expected His disciples to lead. In so doing, they are emulating Him as “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.” To lead from any other stance is to open the doors for potential abuse. — 5 Signs Ministry Leadership Has Turned Abusive