Category Archives: Church Ministries

The exact structure you use for family ministry is not what really matters. You might have a well-organized, obvious family ministry or one that’s there but more behind-the-scenes. The right plan is what is tailored to your setting and resources, born out of prayer.

Whatever your strategy, though, you will be most effective when you implement these three keys:

Key #1: Consistency in Family Ministry

Training, support, and encouragement given to families must be more than an occasional shot in the arm to be most effective. People need repeated exposure to truths that apply to family life. We’re talking about on-going, practical help. What that looks like could vary based on your setting. Perhaps a combination of approaches could best facilitate consistency, possibly increasing the potential for reaching more families than one way alone wouldhdo. Here are some ideas:

• mentoring relationships

Check out resources under the mentoring tab at: Resources for Discipleship & Shepherding Ministry

• newsletter or e-mail providing short tips on a regular basis

• parent support groups

• pass on links to helpful online articles or resources

• resource center or library stocked with books and DVDs parents and families can borrow

You can find some resources listed at these pages:

Family Ministry Resources
Biblical Parenting Resources

• retreats

• seminars (hosted in-house or attended elsewhere)

• studies in Sunday School or small groups

You can find some curriculum and studies ideas under the training tab at: Biblical Parenting Resources

Key #2: Communication in Family Ministry

When Bible teachers and children and youth ministry leaders make an intentional effort to communicate with parents, the children benefit. Here’s why:

1) Teachers learn about what’s happening in their students’ lives. This increases their understanding of behavior and needs.

Teacher Training Tool: Without a Good Parent-Teacher Relationship Worksheet Download

2) Parents learn about what’s happening in the classroom and what their children are learning. This gives parents something to build upon throughout the week.

Key #3: Coordination in Family Ministry

Imagine what would happen if Bible teachers not only made an effort to increase communication with parents but if both the parents and the church used the same approach in training and disciplining children. That begins by focusing on the same goal and follows through in using similar means to get there. And, it will involve training parents, Bible teachers, and children’s and youth ministry workers accordingly.

In a previous post I dared to suggest that family ministry is not the solution to what’s wrong with families today. We need to be careful that we aren’t merely trying to fix the symptoms of a greater problem. This is not to say that the church abandon family ministry. The key is that we get to the core and not merely address symptoms. We must be discipling and equipping people with the right emphasis. First is that they be fully devoted followers of Jesus who love the Lord with all of who they are, living in accordance with His Word and lining up all they do with His character and ways. Then, in family ministry it becomes about applying who they are in Christ to their role in the family. With this emphasis, people become more and more the parents they should be. And, they approach family life with the same focus — the heart.

In essence, then, family ministry must be rooted in the right message. Content matters.

It isn’t just about providing sermons, seminars, small group studies, etc. on all sorts of parenting skills and tactics. We need to carefully and strategically choose materials with the message that lines up with what matters to God — the heart. Reflect on these verses:

The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. (1 Sam. 16:7)

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Prov. 4:23)

You can find plenty of parenting help out there that focuses on behavior modification. But, is that going to equip parents to disciple their children in ways that teach them to love and revere the Lord? Is that going to teach them to honor their parents and other family members out of love for God and one another? Content matters.

Check out the Shepherding a Children’s Heart DVD Curriculum in one of our affiliate stores.

Collapse of the family. Families under assault. We hear these words. We see it.

How do churches handle the state of today’s families?

I’ve seen churches at both ends of the spectrum:

1) Some say the family is broken. We must fix it.

This line of thinking could be reflected by:

• all, or most all, programming revolving around the family
• seeking to fill in the gaps through the church’s children’s and youth ministry

2) Others say the family is broken. We can’t fix it.

This line of thinking could be the result of:

• a sense of hopelessness and despair about how overwhelming of a task it is; a feeling like there isn’t much we can do
• an underlying belief that it isn’t the church’s responsibility but rather biblically it’s the parents’ responsibility to nurture the family; little effort put into reaching the family

Arriving at Biblical Church Solutions to Family Ministry

Whenever determining a biblical solution to any kind of problem, we must consider the whole of Scripture rather than building our conclusions of select passages. Here are a few points to consider:

1) We must remember that while the Church consists of families, the true Church is the coming together of individual believers from all walks of life, those who have personally put their faith in our Lord Jesus (Jn. 1:12-13; Eph. 2:11-22). Some will be parents. Some will be members of a family who attend. But, some will be single adults who never married. Some will be married couples without families. Some will be widows and widowers well past the child-rearing time of their lives. To revolve all, or most, programming around family or to regularly preach about family matters, is to potentially neglect or isolate others in the Body. We must be considerate and concerned about all (1 Cor. 12:14-27).

2) Yet, we must take into account the importance God places on family. In the beginning God determined it was not good for man to be alone so He made woman for companionship but also for procreation, to be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1-2). God commands parents to instruct their children in the ways of the Lord, giving guidelines for healthy family dynamics, early on in the Old Testament as well as in the New Testament (Deut. 6:4-9; Eph. 5:21-6:4; Col. 3:18-21). We should also note that among the qualifications for church leadership we find listed how well they manage their families (1 Tim. 3). We must conclude that family is important to God.

3) We must also note God’s design for the Church to be equipping people to live for Him, to do their part, whether that be in their families, church, workplaces, neighborhoods, or wherever they may be. In Ephesians 4:11-12 we read that God placed gifted leaders and teachers in the church “to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.”

Implications for Family Ministry:

To apply all of these points to the dilemma about family ministry, we obviously can’t take a hands-off, give up, sort of approach. Yet, neither should we swing the pendulum so far in the opposite direction that we obsess on family. Perhaps we should be focusing on equipping believers in a way that prepares them to take on whatever responsibility they have in life. Ask these questions:

– Are we teaching people to fear the Lord?

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Prov. 9:10)

…. If people aren’t getting a good sense of who God is, why should they do family His way? Isn’t His wisdom what needs to be applied to family life?

– Are we teaching people to value and apply God’s Word?

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Tim. 3:16-17)

…. If people aren’t grasping the authority and power of God’s Word, what standard will they use in parenting, in determining family life? Isn’t the Word the parenting and family life manual they need?

– Are we teaching people to love the Lord with all of who they are and to love their neighbor?

Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt. 22:37-39)

…. If people aren’t learning to love, where will they get the motivation to be selfless and honoring among family? Isn’t the nurturing of family to begin in the heart of the parent according to Deuteronomy 6:5-9?

If all we do is teach people parenting skills, we are failing them. If all we do is coach families on how to get along, we are failing them. Jesus gave us the mission of going and making disciples, “teaching them to obey EVERYTHING” He commanded (Matt. 28:19-20) — the “first and greatest commandment” He identified as loving “the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matt. 22:37-38).

Perhaps if the Church sufficiently focused on this purpose and mission, rather than how to fix, or not fix, specific problems, then we’d have a church whose families are healthier. Perhaps what we are seeing are symptoms of a greater problem.

For More Help, Go To: Family Ministry Resources for Churches, Parents, Families